“I never want to go through that again.” Our nurses sometimes hear this statement from women who have made an abortion decision in the past.
Recently, a number of women who have come to our clinic for pregnancy testing have said on their intake forms, “I regret my previous abortion.”
Melanie* accepted our invitation to begin our Whole Heart post abortion healing program. She was seeking to be able to forgive herself and find forgiveness. She wanted to move ahead without her past holding her in bondage. But it can be hard to face our past and emotionally exhausting to process intense feelings.
Melanie came to her first session. Afterwards, she was reluctant to schedule her next appointment. When she did call back, she said, “I really want to make an appointment, but it’s so hard for me to get up the nerve to come.” We replied, “We’re here for you whenever you’re ready.”
Allison* had an abortion five years ago. She was tearful when she spoke about it. She talked about regretting her decision and wishing she’d made a different choice. She told our nurse, “Maybe I need to think about that,” when she learned about Whole Heart.
Grace* had an abortion as a teenager. Her mom felt that was the best choice. Her boyfriend had said, “It’s your decision. But it would be very difficult for us to raise a child.”
But after her abortion, Grace got so depressed she could not get out of bed. Fortunately for her, she was able to get counseling which helped her tremendously. She said, “At least I’ve somewhat forgiven myself. But I have not forgotten.”
It’s more common than we want to believe. Women who have had an abortion and later wish they had chosen differently. We don’t see it because it’s hidden. The unintended pregnancy is a secret, the abortion is hidden, and a woman grieves and lives with her regret alone.
A woman who made an abortion decision that she regrets even 10 years ago or more, is often very tearful if the subject comes up. Or she may be unable to talk about it.
Our Whole Heart post abortion recovery program is meant for women (and men) who are seeking healing from the emotional and spiritual wounds of an abortion. Whole Heart offers confidential and non-judgmental help for those who are experiencing turmoil following an abortion. This struggle can affect women and men, grandmothers and grandfathers, siblings and friends. Through God’s grace, Whole Heart has helped bring about healing, forgiveness and a new freedom for dozens of women and men.
But for women like Melanie and Allison, taking that first or second step toward healing can seem impossible. We offer the hope of Jesus Christ and the healing that only He can bring.
We want to walk with Melanie and Allison and other women and men who are living with regret, sadness or anger. We will care compassionately for each one He brings our way.
We know that only God can bring the heart change that Melanie and Allison and many others need to have the courage to begin processing their feelings and regret. So, we pray for Melanie, Allison and the many others who are living with a part of their lives hidden away. And we invite you to join us in praying for them too.
If you faced a situation in the past that led to an abortion decision, you can also find forgiveness and freedom. We are sorry that our culture told you that abortion solves the problem of an unintended pregnancy. We’d like to help you be able to find forgiveness and forgive yourself. If you, or someone you know, hurts from this decision, know that healing can happen, and that we can help.
For confidential help in finding healing from an abortion decision, please contact Katie at katiec@carenetdane.org.
*Names changed to protect privacy.